


We Don't Need to Keep It Hush (You Could Leave a Toothbrush)

by wherehopelies



Series: I'd Rather Be With You (Say You Want the Same Thing Too) [2]
Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: Bemily Week, F/F, Secret Relationship, famous!emily
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-12
Updated: 2019-03-12
Packaged: 2019-11-16 04:38:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18087599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wherehopelies/pseuds/wherehopelies
Summary: "It’s not a secret exactly. But it’s not not a secret, either. Whatever it is they’re doing -- not casual, not not casual -- stays between them. Emily doesn’t know if it’s on purpose, but she doesn’t tell anyone, and as far as she can tell, neither does Beca."For bemily week day 2: secret dating.





	We Don't Need to Keep It Hush (You Could Leave a Toothbrush)

**Author's Note:**

> song title is toothbrush by dnce

They didn’t mean for it to happen. It wasn’t some conscious decision either of them made. Emily knows that.

It was a culmination of late nights and music, of chemistry and flirtation that started as platonic but somehow turned into something entirely more.

The lights turned low in Emily’s apartment, an open bottle of wine on the counter. They were just work friends, colleagues, really, putting in a few extra hours when neither of them wanted to sleep. It happened somewhere between the music and the lyrics, between the anchor of Beca’s voice, holding Emily in place, and the soft pitter patter of the rain outside.

It was an accelerated downhill slip, the way Emily fell into it. One second her heart was on level ground, and the next, it had managed to skip a beat, tripping over Beca’s smile, sliding down a hill and spinning out at the bottom, out of control and loving it.

Captivated, she stared, caught up in the twist of Beca’s mouth, the easy way her hands moved over the keyboard, confident and beautiful. What compelled her to do it, she doesn’t know, but kissing Beca was that spark of elation that happens when your favorite song comes on the radio out of the blue.

When Beca kissed her back, it was the beautiful moment of silence when that song ends and you sit there taking it in, remembering all the reasons you fell in love with it in the first place.

//

Emily wakes alone, wrapped in her bedsheets and naked from the waist up.

It takes a moment for it all to come back, but when it does, it comes flooding, image after image.

They hadn’t meant for it to happen. Emily knows that.

But in the light of day, she can’t say she regrets it.

There had been a moment there, in the heat of it all, right before Emily had the courage to touch Beca in a way they couldn’t take back, when she had paused. Beca’s hands cupping her cheeks, their noses brushing, Emily’s fingers hovering between Beca’s legs. Things would change after this, Emily knew, but an unexpected calm had wrapped itself around her heart when Beca looked at her, her thumb pressed against Emily’s lower lip, her eyes solemn in the semi-darkness.

Like this, she was beautiful in the way the sunrise was beautiful. Emily knew it happened every day, but most people didn’t see it. When they did, it took their breath away. The softness of Beca’s smile, the openness of her eyes. Who else saw Beca like this?

So Emily let her fingers ease into Beca, soft and slow, wondering if anyone had ever had the courage to chase the sunrise.

//

Emily rolls onto her side as these images flood back, feeling the pull of Beca still in the room.

She’s sitting at the keyboard, fingers gingerly pushing the keys. She had plugged headphones into it, so Emily hears only a silent song of curiosity, and she wonders what Beca’s playing.

She takes a minute just to look, her eyes roving over Beca’s back, her messy hair. Her heart flips over itself once, then twice, when she realizes Beca’s slipped Emily’s shirt over her head, the fabric spilling long over Beca’s bare legs.

Emily presses her palms to her eyes, trying not to smile too much, but the happiness comes crashing over her anyway. Finally, she pushes herself up and grabs one of her tank tops off the floor, pulling it over her head as she climbs out of bed.

She makes her way the few steps toward the keyboard. Beca’s back is to her, the headphones still over her ears. Carefully, trying not to scare Beca too much, she lets her hands drift over Beca’s shoulders.

Beca stops playing, leaning back into Emily. She slips the headphones around her neck as Emily drapes her arms over Beca’s shoulders, clasping them in front of her chest. Part of her worries she’s too forward, too quick, but Beca’s still here, and that has to mean something.

“What are you playing?” Emily’s voice is still scratchy from sleep and she clears her throat. “Something new?”

Beca hums thoughtfully. “Not new-new. But I reworked that part from last night that we couldn’t get quite right.”

Emily tilts her head to the side in curiosity. “Can I hear it?”

Beca unplugs the headphone cord from the keyboard. Then she begins to play, the soft melody that Emily had liked but not loved, except now it’s a little different, a little deeper. As Beca finishes, her heart flips in a way that only music has ever made it flip.

“Oh,” Emily murmurs. “I love it.”

Beca finally lets her fingers drop from the keys. She tilts her head back so she’s looking at Emily upside down, the top of her head against Emily’s chest.

“Me too,” Beca smiles.

Emily brings her hands up under Beca’s chin, her thumbs rubbing over Beca’s cheeks. “Are you hungry? I’ll get us some bagels and coffee from this place down the street.”

“I am, but…” Beca scrunches her nose. “We’re gonna be late for that meeting, and I didn’t bring a change of clothes or a toothbrush or anything. I gotta run home.”

Emily comes crashing back to reality. “Oh my God, why did I completely forget that we have work?”

Beca laughs. “Because it’s like creative hell to go into an office and try to show your stuff to some asshats in suits and hope they like it.”

“Ugh.”

Beca spins around on the bench so they’re facing each other. She takes Emily’s hands in hers. “How about… you get the bagels and coffee, and I’ll go home and get changed, and then we can meet at the label.”

“And what will we say when we both come in late, huh?” Emily raises a playful eyebrow.

“That there was traffic, obviously, and we definitely did not stay up too late together, and that our song is a masterpiece so we can do whatever the hell we want.”

“Oh, well of course.”

Beca grins, tugging Emily closer. Emily rests her knee on the edge of the bench between Beca’s legs, her fingers moving Beca’s hair from her neck. She revels in this easy closeness, in the softening of Beca’s smile. “What would they say anyway? Some of the greatest albums in history have come from artists who were dating or sleeping together. Like, look at Rumours. Iconic.”

Emily shakes her head, unable to help the smile that tugs at her lips. “That was because they broke up and were like, mad at each other. I don’t want to be mad at you.”

“Sonic Youth, ABBA, The White Stripes? Ooh, Arcade Fire. They’re still a band and still together.”

“I’m not sure where you’re going with this.”

Beca blinks. “Yeah, me neither.” She swings Emily’s hand between them. “I guess that it’s nobody’s business what we do as long as we make it work.”

Emily chuckles. “Easy for you to say, you’re not famous. My life is everyone’s business.” She cups Beca’s cheek with her free hand when Beca frowns. “I had a good time with you, Bec. I mean, I always have a good time with you, working and just hanging out and whatever. And last night… I don’t know if it means something to you, or if that’s something we want to think about, but.” She shrugs. “Our lives - my life, anyway, isn’t exactly uncomplicated.”

“I know that.” Beca leans into her hand, her eyes serious. “I’m not saying this has to be something. But it doesn’t have to _not_ be something, either. I’m just saying we work good together, you know? In more ways than one.”

Emily absentmindedly drags her thumb over Beca’s cheekbone, thinking. Beca’s eyes are searching her face, and Emily stares back, the moment stretching. Finally, she exhales out a small laugh. “Are you asking me out? Is that what’s happening right now?”

Beca’s eyes widen, and she looks away, uncharacteristically bashful. “I mean?” She shrugs, rolling her eyes at herself and letting out a grunt. “It could be casual, or whatever. On the DL.”

Emily softens, loving Beca like this. She nudges Beca back so they’re facing each other again. Leaning down, she brushes their noses together. “To be honest,” she says against Beca’s lips. “I’m not really capable of casual.”

Then they’re kissing, and Emily’s pulling Beca up, easing her toward the bed, her hands crawling under the shirt -- her shirt -- that Beca’s wearing.

“Not that I’m not for this, but --” Beca cuts off as she exhales sharply into Emily’s mouth. “We have that meeting.”

Emily leans back, raising her eyebrows. “Thought you said our song was a masterpiece so we could do whatever the hell we want.”

“Oh, yeah.” She pulls Emily closer again. “Forget I brought it up.”

When Beca’s fingers slip beneath the waistband of her underwear, Emily does.

//

It’s not a secret exactly. But it’s not _not_ a secret, either.

Whatever it is they’re doing -- not casual, not _not_ casual -- stays between them. Emily doesn’t know if it’s on purpose, but she doesn’t tell anyone, and as far as she can tell, neither does Beca.

They walk a fine line between secretive and simply careful. Emily’s in the spotlight, often being followed by paparazzi and being speculated about on the internet. Her relationships are a point of interest, they have been for several years, but Beca’s been her friend through all of that. They’ve been seen in public together countless times, both when Emily was single and publically dating. They’ve always had a strong work-relationship.

Now, it’s something more, something like love, but Emily can’t tell if it’s obvious.

Behind closed doors it is. They’re always kissing, cooking each other dinner, spending time together. Emily would be content to sit and make music with Beca for all eternity. She’s addicted to it, now more than ever, now that it feels like it means something, her lyrics a little more pointed, a little more capable of making Beca blush.

In public, though, Emily feels herself holding back. It’s natural, she knows. Her life is none of people’s business, and she shouldn’t feel obligated to share it with them.

But maybe there’s more to it. Maybe it’s because she does want to share it. Maybe it’s because she wants people on the internet, the stupid gossip magazines, the irritating paparazzi to know this happiness. She wants to smile at Beca and not think about it. She wants to gush about the way Beca looks in the dim light, the way she bites her thumbnail when she’s thinking, the way they look at each other when they both know Beca’s coming home with her that night.

She wants to put it in a song and show it to the world, a public declaration of her happiness, a selfish claim that her heart belongs to Beca, and everyone can stop discussing it now, thank you very much.

She wants Beca to have a drawer of clothes at her place, a toothbrush in the bathroom, a reason to not hurry off so early in the morning before the dawn turns to day.

She’ll take complicated over casual. She’ll take public scrutiny over secrecy. She’ll take gossip and haters and stranger’s opinions, if it means she could be with Beca fully, no reservations.

She’ll take anything if it means she could let herself be in love.

//

It’s the six-month anniversary of their first night together. Six months of being careful, six months of Beca staying the night and leaving early in the morning several times a week. Six months of this not _not_ a secret.

Emily’s tired of holding back.

“Beca.”

“Hmm?”

She can feel Beca’s fingers tracing along her hairline and she closes her eyes. It’s been a long week and she just wants to sink into where she’s resting her head on Beca’s stomach and forget the world exists.

“Did you know we’ve been together for six months?”

“Is that all?”

Emily smiles into Beca’s shirt. Her shirt actually. Beca’s always stealing her shirts. “I got you something.”

Beca pauses. “Is there a six-month gift I didn’t know about? Because I’m about to seem like a total douchecanoe if there is.”

“No,” Emily laughs. She rolls on her back so she’s looking up at Beca. “It’s in the drawer right there.”

Beca leans over and opens the drawer, pulling out a small wrapped gift. She frowns. “I didn’t get you anything, I’m still feeling like a dick here.”

“Just open it.”

Emily leans up on her elbow as Beca unwraps it, crumpling up the paper as she goes. She looks at Emily in confusion.

“A … pack of toothbrushes.”

“Yeah, see. I thought… I thought you could leave them here, and they could be yours, and then if you wanted, you wouldn’t have to go home every morning after you stay here. And um, we could maybe stop caring if people think we’re dating or not. If you want.”

Beca turns the package over in her hands, quiet and serious. Emily’s nerves settle deeper in her stomach. It’s making her a little bit nauseous.

“You mean like, come out as a couple.”

“Well,” she hurries to say. “We don’t need to make some big public statement or anything. I just… I’m sick of pretending that I’m not crazy into you, Bec. Do you know how exhausting holding back your happiness is? I’m tired. I want you stay over and if we walk into a meeting together, I want everyone to make assumptions about what we did the night before, even if we only cuddled and watched Netflix. I want to post weird pictures of us hanging out on my Instagram without worrying if people will speculate about us. I don’t care if they do. Let them. Let them be right about it. I’ll put twelve songs on my next album that all say _I’m in love with Beca Mitchell and I don’t care who knows_. I just… I’m just tired,” Emily finishes quietly.

She meets Beca’s eyes, nervous and emotional. Beca gives her a small smile. “Not capable of casual.”

“I’m really not.”

Beca sets the pack of toothbrushes on the nightstand, then slumps down on her elbow, mirroring Emily. “So you really want that, huh? All the paparazzi taking pictures of us and sleezy dudes at the label making comments when we walk past them?”

“Of course I don’t want that,” Emily sighs, her head lolling on her hand. “But if I have to suffer through that for mornings with you and holding your hand while we eat lunch in the Valley or thanking my talented girlfriend in my Grammy’s speech if I ever win a Grammy, then fine, yes I want it.” Emily shrugs. “I want you. All of you. I’m tired of keeping everything so muted when all my heart wants to do is show you off to the world.”

Beca chuckles. “I did always kind of take you for a big gestures kind of girl.”

“Well I’m romantic,” Emily huffs. “What of it?”

“Come here,” Beca says. She grabs Emily’s wrist and pulls her down on top of her. Emily curls into Beca’s neck. “I think twelve songs on the album might be overkill, though. Eleven should be enough to get the message across.”

“Beca,” Emily whines.

She can feel Beca’s smile against her forehead. “I love you, too. If you want to go public we can.”

“Not _public_ public,” Emily says. “I just want to stop trying to _not_ be public. I just… I want to be us.”

“Your fans are gonna go crazy.”

“Yeah, I know.” She tilts her head to look at Beca. “How do you feel about this?

Beca hums. “Well, when we first started this, maybe it was better to just keep it to ourselves. So we could like, figure things out and whatever. But I guess it’s different now.” Her fingers crawl under Emily’s shirt, settling on her lower back. Emily snuggles closer. “Now you want to brag to the world that you have the hottest girlfriend ever, I mean it’s understandable.”

Emily rolls her eyes. “Like, I know you’re being annoying and joking, but actually that really is what I want.”

Beca laughs. “I’m in love with you, Em. If you wanna tell people, we can tell people. If you wanna be private, we can be private. Whatever you want is good with me.”

“Really?”

Beca leans back, her hands coming up to squish Emily’s cheeks together. “Yes. In fact, let’s post something right now, hold that face, don’t move.”

Emily wiggles out of Beca’s grip and sticks her tongue out. “That would get a million likes, don’t test it.”

“It’s annoying how cute you are.”

“I know.”

//

Emily wakes alone, wrapped in her bedsheets, naked from the waist down.

She rolls over, the sounds coming from the bathroom grabbing her half-asleep attention. She blinks her eyes open just as Beca walks back into the bedroom.

She takes a second to just look, her eyes roving over Beca’s bare legs, the hem of Emily’s shirt reaching mid-thigh. Her messy hair. The toothbrush hanging out of her mouth as she checks something on her phone.

“Hey,” Emily murmurs, her voice still raspy from sleep. “What are you doing?”

Beca looks over at her, pulling the toothbrush from her mouth, foam coating her lips. “Bruffing my teef? Whaf it ‘ook ‘ike?”

Then she disappears back into the bathroom. Emily hears the sink running and the sound of Beca rinsing out the toothpaste. Then Beca slouches back into the room and over to Emily in bed. She leans down and brushes Emily’s hair from her neck, kissing her briefly on the lips.

“Going to that place down the street for bagels and coffee. I’ll be back. Don’t get up.”

Emily yawns as Beca moves away from her and into the main room. “Put on pants!” Emily calls.

“Don’t tell me what to do!” Beca yells back.

Emily smiles into her pillow, happy and in love. If this is what not keeping a secret gets her, then it’s definitely worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> thank u for reading. emilyjunk.tumblr.com for your screaming needs.  
> support my writing by donating to my ko-fi if u feel so inclined at /angelachiarmonte.
> 
> i will not be posting day 3 on day 3, so see y'all on day 4, bye!!!


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